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Humor
Humor yang bikin kamu senyum simpul, ketawa ngakak, sampai yang rada jayus ada di sini... Apa saja yang bisa bikin hari Sobat Gemintang yang jenuh menjadi lebih berGemintang.
Attorney & Witness - Jokes
View : 170659
Created by : Didit
There is a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.


ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.


ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?


ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.


ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.


ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.


ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?


ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one year old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.


ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?


ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....


ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?


ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?


ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?


ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.


ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy on him!


ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?


ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for
a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.


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Kategori lainnya
Hati2 Translasi Bahasa Komputer ke Bahasa Indonesia - Umum
Pls be careful when u translate IT terms into Bahasa Indonesia. Why?

Because it's dangerous, especially when it is taught in school.

See samples below

1. Hardware = Barangkeras
2. Software = Baranglembut
3. Joystick = Batang gembira
4. Plug and play = Colok dan main
5. Port = Lubang
6....[View]

Daddy, How Did I came to this world ? - Jokes
Daddy? How did I come into this world?"
"Well, my child, some day I'll have to tell you any way.
"So why not today? Please!"

"OK, but listen carefully."

"Mom and Dad met each other in a cyber cafe.
In the restrooms of that cyber cafe, dad connected to mom.
Mom at that time made some d...[View]

Tips for Guests - Jokes
Once while visiting a very rich friend, the maid approached me and
Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda,Tea,
Chocolate, Capuccino, Frapuccino,or Coffee?"
Answer: " Tea please"
Question : " Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea,Honey bush
tea, Iced tea or green...[View]

Cara Berpikir - Umum
Si Edi yang duduk di bangku SD ditanya gurunya...
'Edi, ada 5 bebek yang lagi mencari makanan di sawah. Kalo ditembak pemburu, kena satu yang tinggal berapa?'

Sesudah berpikir sebentar, si Edi menjawab 'gak ada pak...!'

Si guru bertanya 'kenapa gak ada?'

'yang laen terbang semua, karena ...[View]

Kisah si Sperma - Seks


Pelajaran pertama:

Seekor sperma yang baru lahir sedang diajar oleh instrukturnya: "Begitu kamu disemprot keluar, lari sekencangnya sampai ke ujung gua dan kamu akan ketemu bulatan merah bernama telur. Deketin dia dan bilang: saya sperma. Dan dia akan bilang: saya telur. Dari situ kamu akan ...[View]

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